Summer Bummer Prelude
Ok
fellas, I know that you have heard of some great engineered plans before. Similar
to the likes of Sir Edmund
Hillary’s trek to the Sough Pole, but I think I have one that ranks
right up there. Now for you readers that are not
married or do not have families this story may seem somewhat un-explainable.
This whole situation actually started
last year after the 2007 summer bummer when I skipped out on my wife’s
family’s annual camping trip to go racing.
She was kind of up set and went on about how I thought racing dirt bikes was
more important than family. In what
seemed to be like a hypnotic state, I commented to her that if it meant that
much to her that the following year, I
would not skip out on camping to go racing. (Mistake #1) She said, “Ya,
what ever. Come next year you will make
up this excuse about how you are close in points and can’t afford to
miss this race. And who really cares about
points, I thought you raced because you like to ride dirt bikes” For
personal reasons which included not wanting to
sleep in my garage and potentially having sex sometime in the next 10 years
I did not inform her that I really liked
racing because a beer tasted sooooooo much better after a race. Instead, I
comforted her like any good husband
would and told her that she was right and I was wrong, she was beautiful and
I was ugly, and on and on. All the
while knowing that she was right and I would have an uncontrollable urge to
go the 2008 Summer Bummer.
Ok, now step forward 10 months after being dealt a couple of wild cards
that were not in the deck 10 month earlier.
I am now living in Davenport, IA and my wife is pregnant with our first baby.
So, this had added a new element to
putting together a master plan on being able to go to the race. This puts
me about an hour further away from the
rest of the P&G Offroad Team and a wife that has mood swings like the
weather in Wisconsin. But I don’t let that
get me down. I start by thinking how can I make my wife happy by going camping
and still go racing?????? I’ve got
it; I will go camping with her for the first 2 days and then go racing. Slight
issue, camping is in Wisconsin, she will
want to stay camping with her family for the rest of the weekend, and it
is too far to drive separate. Hmmm, what to
do. I’ve got it, I will haul my gear camping with me, meet the Team
P&G crew in Wisconsin Saturday morning to
head to the race, let my wife have the truck, and ride home from the race
with Larry “GQ” Bergquist. Now, this was
a good plan. Now all I had to do was find out if Larry was going to the race,
if he would haul my ass home, figure
how I was going to get from the camp site to Speedy’s, and oh ya, break
it to my wife that I was going racing. So I
figured I would start by calling GQ transit to see if there was an open seat
in the school bus for a ride home to
Davenport. Sure enough, there was open seat and I wouldn’t know it
until later but there would even be a
complimentary movie playing for the ride home, Disney’s Hunch Back
of Notre Dame. Ok, one down two to go. I
figured the next thing I should do would be to slowly break it to my wife
and see how she would react. My thought is
that this process should be started early. This allows time for what I have
come to call the 4 phases of acceptance.
Phase 1, The “What Ever, Do What You Want” phase. We all know
we should NOT take this for what the common
English dictionary would make to be understood. Then there is phase 2, The “Silent
Evil Look” phase. You know,
the look that can fry an ant faster than a magnified glass on a sunny day.
Then comes phase 3, The “Well how are
you going to pull this one off?” phase. You know when she gets to this
phase the acceptance is starting to creep
in. Ok, now for phase 4, The “Cooking you food for the race” phase.
Once at this phase you know she has fully
accepted you going racing and remembered just how much she likes having the
house to her self. For you
beginners, be aware that this cycle takes a full month and should not be
started any earlier unless you are Dewey
who’s motto is to tell his wife as you are heading out the door thus
reducing the overall time that you have to deal
with her anger.
Ok, two down, one to go. Now I
just needed to figure out how to get from the camp site to Speedy’s.
I started by
asking my wife if she would drop me off at his place at 7 am on Saturday
morning and this proposal immediately
downshifted her back to phase 2. So, I gave Deano a call to see if he was
heading through Spring Green which
was only 10 miles from the camp site and may up shift my wife back to the
3rd or even 4th phase since Spring
Green was a lot closer than Speedy’s. Dean agreed that he would slow
down in Spring Green and let me jump in. I
presented this to my wife and she agreed. So the plan was complete and I
was cleared for racing. Ya ho! Let’s go
racing boy’s!!!!
I would like to give a special thanks to all of those that helped execute
this plan:
Brian "Deano" Breci
Speeedy Pete
Larry "GQ Transit" Bergquist
And of course my lovely wife Bonnie!

Gus
